Whenever my skin is feeling a little dry, I like to head on over to the hospital, find the maternity ward and rub a newborn baby all over my face. But ever since the Patriot Act, suddenly you can't take babies from hospitals without causing a scene; not even the babies of wage laborers! Fortunately, RéVive has a new moisturizer that comes pretty close.
This newfangled Keratinocyte Growth Factor helps to fight such common problems as "puppet and frown lines." I'm not sure exactly what a puppet line is, but I bet it has something to do with when your mouth turns into a straight, horizontal, lipless line bisecting the two half circles that comprise it, with symptoms like not being able to eat cookies but merely chew them into tiny pieces which then fall out of the the sides of your mouth.
The instructions say to "use sparingly," but here at the Gilded Truffle, we think it's a slippery slope: first you're using your $600/ounce moisturizer sparingly, the next thing you know you're using public transportation and buying store-brand caviar. We say, slather it on. After all, you can never be too careful when combating the scourge that is "loss of facial volume." (Although, I keep getting emails for herbal remedies that promise to increase the volume of my, uh, facial... hmm... maybe that's a different sort of product.)
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